I’m not together with all of the screenshots of the dialog right here — it’s lengthy — however the pretend me, apparently impatient for this $100 fee, says issues like “I actually thought y’all have been prepared” and “You guys should be skilled.” It sucks! I really feel dangerous for anybody who obtained their hopes up and obtained hoodwinked, and I additionally really feel dangerous for anybody who assumes that that is how the music press works. It’s not! The music press will be fucked up, but it surely’s not that fucked up. (Professional tip: If you happen to see me calling anybody “bro,” that’s not me. I tried utilizing “bro” a couple of instances, if solely as a result of that time period now weirdly feels much less gendered than “dude” or “man,” but it surely sounded unnatural, so I ended.)

I’ve reported this pretend account to Instagram a number of instances, and nothing has come of it. My colleagues have reported it, too. I don’t know the way frequent this type of scammer is on Instagram, but it surely’s apparently very tough to get by way of to anybody on the firm to place a cease to their actions. I’m making use of for a verified account, too, which feels ridiculous after I don’t really submit on the platform. (Perhaps I want to start out? I actually don’t wish to begin posting shit on Instagram once more. I spend sufficient time taking a look at screens already.)

Individuals have used my identify on-line earlier than. This sort of factor occurs once you’re simply the tiniest little bit of a public-facing individual. Once I wrote some indignant issues concerning the BTS Military and chart manipulation a couple of years in the past, I obtained a deluge of indignant tweets from followers, and I’m fairly certain somebody began a Twitter known as “Tom Breihan Sucks” or one thing. It didn’t final lengthy. However this pretend model of me has racked up a couple of thousand followers, together with my good friend and fellow music journalist Marc Hogan. (Hello, Marc!) Trying now, most of these followers are most likely bots or scammers themselves, however the factor seems legit. It’s not.

A few nights in the past, after I couldn’t sleep, I attempted one thing else. I DM’ed the pretend me on Instagram, writing, “You gotta cease doing this shit.” I didn’t count on to listen to again. Final night time, although, I noticed that I’d gotten a reply, and I spent a couple of minutes in a back-and-forth DM alternate with the pretend me. (I may simply submit screenshots, however I feel it’s funnier to format it as an interview.) Right here is the unedited dialog:

You gotta cease doing this shit

FAKE ME: Okay bro
I’ll cease

FAKE ME: I simply want one thing from you

It’s essential fuckin cease asshole

You severely tryna hit me up for one thing?

FAKE ME: Effectively I want money for my faculty
If you happen to might help I’ll cease

FAKE ME: But when not I’ll proceed

FAKE ME: Even when this account will get blocked I’ll create one other one and nonetheless use your profile

FAKE ME: Till you’re wished

Till I’m what now?

FAKE ME: Nvm

FAKE ME: you bought some points with individuals due to boogie

FAKE ME: You made an hate speech man

(Observe: In February 2020, I wrote a rap column with the headline “A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie Fucking Sucks.” I went again and re-read that to see if I “made an hate speech” in there, and I really feel assured that I didn’t. It’s fairly scathing, although.)

That is a couple of boogie? Jesus

FAKE ME: That wasn’t good of you man

Much more pathetic than I spotted

FAKE ME: Effectively I’ll preserve tarnishing your popularity idc

Superb

Take a look at your self

FAKE ME: I can cease if you’d like me to tho

I would like you to consider who you’re and what you wish to do on this planet

Who you wish to be

If that is who you actually wanna be, then I’ll simply preserve attempting to get your pretend scammer accounts shut down

However I really feel dangerous for you

FAKE ME: I may get yours shut down jsyk

Scary

FAKE ME: Lol

Who is that this anyway?

I’m simply curious

FAKE ME: Somebody you don’t know

Yeah no shit

FAKE ME: I’m engaged on getting my account verified quickly
So that you’ll be the pretend 😂😂

Okay have a blessed day

FAKE ME: Alright my bro

FAKE ME: Try to be joyful somebody wanna be you tho

FAKE ME: I can get you artists to jot down on

Maintain attempting

Im not searching

FAKE ME: No matter you say

FAKE ME: I’m making cool cash off your identify

Bizarre shit! It’s really unusual to have a dialog with somebody pretending to be you, with your personal picture popping up subsequent to their replies, and to be advised that you’ll quickly be the pretend you.

Stereogum is a music web site, and this entire submit just isn’t about music. Hopefully, although, this can clear up some confusion about the way in which this web site works. Hopefully, it’ll clear up some confusion about the way in which that the remainder of the music media works, too. I can’t think about how exhausting it’s to be a musician who’s beginning out with none connections, who doesn’t know how you can break by way of the noise and get seen. (Even once we do submit stuff on this web site, it may be exhausting to inform how a lot it’s really connecting with anybody.) However you shouldn’t give cash to writers, actual or pretend, who’re promising to jot down about you. You simply should preserve making music and hope someone notices — someone aside from this unbelievable bottom-feeding piece of parasitic shit.