Derek Smalls, the bass power previously of the fabled heavy metallic band previously generally known as SPINAL TAP, is again with a vengeance — this time along with his sights firmly set on the film phenomenon of 2023, that advocate of every thing pink and fluffy, “Barbie”. The self-described embodiment of lukewarm water reaches boiling level with Smalls‘s first monitor in 5 years, “Should Crush Barbie”, an excoriating assault on the pink sensation accessible all over the place now through Bottomland Productions / Immortal Data.

“Should Crush Barbie” possesses the trademark qualities that Smalls and SPINAL TAP are recognized for — uncooked, bass-heavy, and most significantly, LOUD, providing a much-needed antidote to the ever-present pinkness that has spilled out of film theatres this summer time and onto the excessive streets with wall-to-wall media protection. With “Barbie”‘s forthcoming streaming premiere promising no let-up on the horizon, the livid salvo that’s “Should Crush Barbie” affords some form of aid.

“Been spending the final yr or in order Model Ambassador for BruegelCoin, the Dutch cryptocurrency,” says Smalls. “Because it was cratering this previous spring, I used to be following the information greater than typical, which is the place I acquired bombarded by all of the ‘Barbie’ B.S. I do not know which angered me extra, however it’s actually arduous to write down a track about crypto. However the overwhelming shroud of pinkness undoubtedly deserved a serious pricking. And that is the place I got here in.”

The highway of rock is a rocky highway, and nobody’s life exemplifies that extra totally than that of Derek Albion Smalls.

Derek was born 1 April “lots of of years earlier than the daybreak of historical past,” having to endure rising up as an “April Idiot’s Child.” His father, Donald “Duff” Smalls, raised Derek after his mom, Dorothy, left house to hitch a touring all-girls jazz band, THE HOTTEN TOTTIES.

Whereas Derek had a quiet faculty profession in his hometown of Nilford, on the River Null within the West Midlands, Duff carried on his work as a phone handset sanitizer, working for the pioneering agency within the commerce, Sani-Cellphone, till it was absorbed by the previous British Telecom, primarily, based on studies on the time, for its “sturdy bill-collecting operation.”

At age 17, Derek enrolled within the London Faculty of Design, primarily, as he later defined it, “due to the initials.” Like many art-school college students of the interval, he was extra fascinated by music and shortly discovered himself a member of the all-white Jamaican band SKAFACE. “I by no means even tried to play the guitar, as a result of it had too many strings they usually have been too small. Bass felt good,” he informed Ska Information.

Strolling sooner or later in 1967 by way of the then-tatty Soho district of London, Derek noticed a “Bass Participant Wished” discover on one of many neighborhood’s lampposts. It seems Ronnie Pudding had simply left the band SPINAL TAP for a solo profession after their first single, “Gimme Some Cash”, had didn’t chart. Derek match proper in and made a notable contribution to the band’s leap on the Flower Energy bandwagon, mouthing a silent “We love you” on the finish of its efficiency of “(Pay attention To) The Flower Individuals” on the short-lived TV music present “Bob’s Your Uncle”.

TAP then went on to carve a status as one among England’s loudest bands. Its sequence of mishaps — breakups and reunions, drummers perishing in weird methods — was chronicled in a 1984 movie. “A hatchet job,” Derek calls it dismissively. “There have been loads of nights once we discovered our method to the stage, however in fact, they did not present you that.”

Within the late Eighties, as TAP‘s fortunes waned, Derek joined a Christian heavy-metal band, LAMBSBLOOD. Their best-known track, “Complete Lotta Lord”, made a decent displaying on the Christian charts. To cement his relationship with the band members, all of whom have been Individuals, Smalls acquired a Christian “fish tattoo.” As luck would have it, TAP quickly reunited for 1992’s “Break Like The Wind” album and toured throughout America. Involved that he must cowl up the tattoo, Derek employed an artist to repair it, and the piece now featured a satan consuming the fish.

Following that tour, TAP broke up and reunited twice extra, as soon as in 2000 for an American tour that included a historic New York venue that Derek described onstage as “Carnegie Fuckin’ Corridor,” and in 2009 for appearances on the Glastonbury Competition and Wembley Enviornment. In between, Derek cultivated a near-thriving profession on digital camera, constructing upon his cameo position within the 1979 Spaghetti Japanese “Roma ’79”. He appeared in TV commercials for the Belgian snack meals Floop and served for a time as a choose (alongside the lead singer for the Europunk band HOT GARAGE) on the Dutch actuality competitors present “RokStarz” earlier than the present was rebooted as “Tomorrow’s HipHop Hero”. Derek stepped ahead as a composer throughout this time; his jingle for Floop, “I am In The Floop Group”, was an everyday earworm on European tv till the writer of “The In Crowd” threatened a plagiarism lawsuit.

Derek‘s fortunes have fluctuated along with his romantic entanglements. His long-time girlfriend Cindy Stang went by way of a great share of his again royalties to launch her ill-fated tech start-up, macrame.com. Of that venture, Smalls now says ruefully, “It was forward of its time. Or behind the curve. Or each.” He is additionally had his share of private struggles, having twice sought remedy for Web dependancy.

In 2019, Smalls parlayed his movie star within the Low Nations of Europe able as Model Ambassador for BruegelCoin, a Dutch-based crypto coin. He made private appearances exterior branches of conventional banks and did TV and press interviews selling the cryptocurrency. In 2022, BruegelCoin collapsed in a wave of lawsuits. Derek, who had been paid within the novel foreign money, was out of luck…

“Should Crush Barbie” credit:

Lyrics: Harry Shearer
Music: CJ Vanston
Lead Vocal: Derek Smalls
Drums: Wade Murff
Bass: Derek Smalls
All Different Devices: CJ Vanston
Backing Vocals: CJ Vanston, Derek Smalls
Barbie SFX: Crystal Springs Water Bottle
Recorded at The Treehouse, N. Hollywood
Produced and combined by CJ Vanston
Mastered by Lurssen Mastering

Picture credit score: Rob Shanahan