In honor of Pleasure Month, Atwood Journal has invited artists to take part in a sequence of essays reflecting on identification, music, tradition, inclusion, and extra.

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In the present day, New York Metropolis-based queer alt-pop artist RAEGAN shares her essay, “The Inventive Mirror: How Music Displays My Id,” exploring how music and artwork replicate her inside self, expressing ideas, feelings, and experiences that her phrases can’t, as part of Atwood Journal’s Pleasure Month sequence!

RAEGAN’s world is stuffed with contradictions: directly eerie and enchanting, it’s the place the place her grownup nightmares and childlike daydreams collide. When RAEGAN creates music, she warps her actuality right into a twisted scene: writing actually about her expertise in an all new, cinematic kind. A longtime actor and performer, RAEGAN’s expertise in musical theater has lent her writing an epic scope — in some ways she is merely technique performing by way of tune, spinning her character right into a sonic kind. “For some time, all the things in my life felt so managed and watched over,” she shares. “Music was my solely escape to actually be me — to do no matter I would like and say what I actually wish to say.”

Amidst the swirling environment of teenage angst, shadowy harmonies, and spectral self-expression, we discover RAEGAN and her robust character proper on the heart. Bizarre, great, and witty, her self-produced soundscapes illustrate the genuine experiences of a 20-year outdated piecing by way of a life that’s equally as invigorating as it’s anxiety-inducing.

RAEGAN usually mentions that she thinks by way of energies, striving to seize her core essence by way of all new sound waves. Mixing disparate types with breathless ease, RAEGAN’s distinctive mixture of glitchy beats and euphoric strings reveal the inside workings of her thoughts. “All my music is simply my mind in sound waves. Music is the one manner I understand how to speak more often than not.”

Her debut monitor, “TIM BURTON,” reaches into the thoughts of the famed director, reinventing RAEGAN as considered one of his gothic caricatures that by no means made it to the display screen. As violins careen out and in of a glitched-out backbeat, her disembodied vocal confesses to concern of failure. “I’ve been wandering on this world alone, I’m wondering if he completed me,” she sings, looking for function, “I assume I wasn’t adequate, I promise I’m making an attempt to be.”

Captivatingly creepy, “TIM BURTON” made waves on TikTok for its witchy and spellbinding power. Armed with over one million likes and 1000’s of movies made with the unique “TIM BURTON” sound, RAEGAN constructed on that momentum with observe singles “STALKER”, “HI MY NAME IS” and “STOCKHOLM”.

In an business overflowing with hyper-curated pop personas, RAEGAN stands out as extremely self-actualized. Each her aesthetic and music are true reflections of herself — of the various sides of her character and the wild nature of her unbridled creativeness. “Generally I’m being severe, however don’t take me severely,” she challenges, totally in management.

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“THE ARTISTIC MIRROR: HOW MUSIC REFLECTS MY IDENTITY”

by RAEGAN

I am my music and artwork; they’re the truest reflections of my innermost self.

By these artistic retailers, I can categorical my ideas, feelings, and experiences in a manner that phrases alone can’t seize. My music serves as a pure imitation of my thoughts, a sonic panorama that mirrors my state of being and divulges my deepest essence. Each tune I create represents a snapshot of my thoughts state and encapsulates who I’m at that precise second. It’s by way of music that I discover the liberty to precise myself totally and authentically.

One tune specifically holds immense significance to me – “WALTZ.” I wrote this tune throughout my senior 12 months of highschool, a pivotal time once I embraced my identification and formally got here out as homosexual. Nevertheless, this private revelation was met with resistance from my mother and father, who struggled not solely with accepting my sexual orientation but in addition with the precise particular person I had fallen in love with.

At some point, I discovered myself drawn to the studio with an inexplicable need to create a waltz. The melody and rhythm evoked a way of nostalgia and magnificence that resonated deeply inside me. On this music, I found a medium that allowed me to precise my emotions in a novel and virtually old school, Shakespearean method. Each phrase I wrote throughout that artistic course of was a metaphorical illustration of my emotional state on the time. By “WALTZ,” I channeled my sense of being trapped and managed, eager for the liberty to like with out restrictions.

In some ways, this tune turned my voice, talking volumes on my behalf once I struggled to seek out the best phrases. It was by way of the melody, concord, and lyrics that I may articulate the depths of my feelings and convey the complexities of my journey. “WALTZ” served as a cathartic launch, enabling me to confront and course of my very own struggles with acceptance and self-acceptance.

By the creation of “WALTZ,” I found the profound connection between artwork and identification. It turned clear to me that my music was not merely an exterior type of expression, however slightly an intimate reflection of who I’m at my core. Every tune I compose holds inside it a bit of my soul, encapsulating the distinctive amalgamation of ideas, feelings, and experiences that outline me as a person.

Music has turn into my strongest device for self-expression. It permits me to interrupt free from societal expectations, norms, and judgments, making a world the place my true self may be unveiled with out reservation. On this realm of creativity, I discover solace, liberation, and a way of belonging. By music, I can navigate the complexities of my identification and share my journey with others.

As I proceed to create and evolve as an artist, I acknowledge that my music will at all times be intertwined with my private experiences. Every tune turns into a chapter within the ongoing narrative of my life, reflecting the expansion, challenges, and triumphs that form me. By my artwork, I hope to encourage others to embrace their very own distinctive tales and discover the braveness to precise themselves totally and authentically, simply as I’ve discovered my voice by way of music. – RAEGAN

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